I went to the farmers market the other day. There were some women at the entrance taking produce donations for God's kitchen. So, my daughter and I made some selections for our family, and bought a few things for the charity. She went to put the donation in the basket as I finished up paying. As we walked back to the car, one of the ladies thanked me, and as I looked over the other one was reaching into the bag of blueberries and selecting on for herself. She caught my eye, and hid her blueberry.
At first I was mad. I made a special trip to the bank, to get cash to make a small donation, and she was eating it! But then I thought about how often I eat blueberries. Not literally (I actually don't like them much, gasp, I know) but figuratively. How often do I mean well, and end up being selfish and sinful along the way. How often I justify just this one blueberry.
I have been studying the holy spirit this summer. Last week I read the story about the rich young ruler in Luke 18:18-30. He asks Jesus what is required of him to receive eternal life. Then he finds the answer to be a bit hard to swallow.
22When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
The question from my study called Forgotten God by Francis Chan was: What do you think the he was expecting Jesus to say?
I have been mulling over this question, and thinking about how we want Jesus to require a neat, easy thing from us. 10% of our income seems so much more palatable then sell it all and give it all away! I somehow want God to use me, but only when it is easy and convenient.
I am very humbled by how far I am from where I should be. I want to give my time, but do so grudgingly. I want to give my money, but don't want to give up date nights and new clothes. I want to surrender it all to Christ, but I also want just one little blueberry from the world. Why is it so scary to me? I know in my head that the rewards out there are much greater than a new skirt. So what the heck is my problem.
Today, I guess I am just being real about how I am still on the this journey toward surrender. Not my will Lord, but Yours. One blueberry at a time.