Today, in Bible Study we were talking about being God reveling himself to us, and why doesn't he just make himself easier for us to understand. Why are there stories in the old testament and frankly in our own lives that seem to us unjust and maybe even unkind? Why can't we get the answers and the full story while we are yet in the pain of a struggle.
Jill remarked "in truth, our heads would explode if God tried to reveal all that he is to us". That would be messy. We ultimately decided that through every experience in life, at least when we are looking for him, we get a little closer to knowing the heart of God. It makes me think of dating your spouse. When you dating, you go out with a person, or spend time with them, and learn a little something new each time. At some point, you decide that you are in to stay. That the good that you discover in this process, outweighs the bad. With God, we keep getting to unwrap layers of who he is and his heart, and each layer is good.
I would say, I am an optimist. Not always, but most of the time, I am looking for the good in a situation. This is a trait that I inherited from my dad and am regularly thankful for. 7 years ago, I was pregnant with my first baby, and the ultrasound showed that my baby would die. As heart wrenching as this time was for me, I found joy in the situation. I knew that God was at work in me and he would use this in my life. I honestly was not bitter or angry. James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
Lest I seem proud of this, I will confess to you that Satan used the months after, while I was trying to get pregnant, to tempt me into anger, entitlement and jealousy. I of course later saw the silliness of my impatience during those months of waiting for a baby. Yet, my story has a happy ending. I now have three happy, healthy children. So, it is easy for me to see what God was up to in this situation.
However, there are many people who don't get to wrap their faith stories up into neat little packages with a perfect bow on top. I have dear people in my life who are living with painful situations, with no end in sight. No solution. No resolution. No bow on top. This is where the stuff of real faith is made.
I want to face the trails of life, and the comforts of life ,with pure joy. I want to exhibit joy in the journey of knowing God. I have decided that I am going to love the dating process with him. As I enjoy each experience, and peel back another layer of his goodness, I am going to smile about the fact that God has written me into His story and I get to be a part of His world.