My creative daughter tries to invent a new outfit everyday. Usually, it consists of the combining the most frilly things together, to be as spectacular as possible. However, each day she is becoming more aware that if she doesn't dress within the appropriate parameters such as considering the weather and formality of the occasion, then she will likely get sent back to change. This morning she came into my room dressed in a floral skirt, with jeans underneath and a miss-matched t-shirt with sparkles. Also, when I asked her to brush her hair, she put it in a "bun" and put every blue clip she owns in her hair. I hope you can picture my little glamorous ragamuffin.
There are certainly days that I would have sent her back to change, and fixed her hair, but today I decided to let it go. She and I had to go to the pediatrician. Since we had a Dr appointment, my mother-in-law graciously offered to take my boys to the park. Ellie was definitely getting the raw end of the deal.
So off we went, to the doctor, and she smiled and chatted to me the whole way. The appointment was for her asthma, which has been a little worse lately. The doctor wanted to do some tests to see how her airways are on a good day. Basically, her asthma is worse than we thought, and probably affecting her daily.
And there she was, in all her unique ways, just being her. Talking to the Dr and nurse and playing with her little toys. And joyful. This little girl who has been plagued with asthma and allergies her whole life. This sweet girl who has never tasted homemade bread, or a grilled cheese sandwich. This girl, who can't do cartwheels in the grass without needing a shower. This girl who wheezes when she runs, is so joyful.
I know it could be worse, and I really am not having a case of the "poor me's" over here. Really, I am just amazed that she isn't. She inspires me with her maturity and grace with which she takes on these challenges. Food allergies and now asthma is something that is there everyday, all the time. But, she shows me how to take it in stride and reminds me that character is what really matters. Today I was so proud of my little girl. She was dressed silly, but she shined with sophistication.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Accomplishments
I love watching my children learn new things. I took pictures when they rolled over, and scrapbooked those first steps. Lately my oldest is conquering riding her bike and learning to read. My 4 year is learning to buckle his own seatbelt and be more responsible for his things. My little guy is potty training. I even found myself sneaking into his room last night to take pictures of him sleeping in a big boy bed for the first time.
So many of these things that my kids learn, is part of a process. For Ellie, she didn't just take the training wheels off her bike and take off down the street. (Yes, I know that is how it works for some of your kids, but not mine.) She has tried and tried, and practiced, and cried, and fallen down in her process to achieving the "I can ride a two wheeler" status.
As a parent, I say a lot of 'you can do it's and a wipe many a tears, including a few of my own, as they process through these accomplishments. And sometimes it is hard to watch your children fail, or be frustrated with a task that you know they need to learn. But, you also get to celebrate with them, you get to remember it, and remind them of the challenges. You get to take pictures of those big moments, when it all clicks and their hard work of learning something new pays off. And, you enjoy the benefits of a kid who can put his own shoes on, or buckle his own belt, or ride her own bike.
This got me to thinking about what I am learning. The longer I am a Christian, the more I know that I will be learning to be better, until the day I die. The things I am learning are a process too. And all too often, we don’t see the moment where we mastered something. I don't have a date when I stopped worrying, or when I became disciplined, or when I achieved patience (let's face it, I am still working on that one.)
The wonderful part is that my Heavenly Father is keeping track of my milestones. He will be able to show me my scrapbook with moments of accomplishments. That is, if I keep doing the hard work that it is to learn something new. He will keep pushing me to learn the new thing. Not to give up on myself when I just feel like I will always be impatient or selfish. He will continue to put me in situations to help me learn. And until I get it, he will keep wiping my tears, and telling me I can do it!
So many of these things that my kids learn, is part of a process. For Ellie, she didn't just take the training wheels off her bike and take off down the street. (Yes, I know that is how it works for some of your kids, but not mine.) She has tried and tried, and practiced, and cried, and fallen down in her process to achieving the "I can ride a two wheeler" status.
As a parent, I say a lot of 'you can do it's and a wipe many a tears, including a few of my own, as they process through these accomplishments. And sometimes it is hard to watch your children fail, or be frustrated with a task that you know they need to learn. But, you also get to celebrate with them, you get to remember it, and remind them of the challenges. You get to take pictures of those big moments, when it all clicks and their hard work of learning something new pays off. And, you enjoy the benefits of a kid who can put his own shoes on, or buckle his own belt, or ride her own bike.
This got me to thinking about what I am learning. The longer I am a Christian, the more I know that I will be learning to be better, until the day I die. The things I am learning are a process too. And all too often, we don’t see the moment where we mastered something. I don't have a date when I stopped worrying, or when I became disciplined, or when I achieved patience (let's face it, I am still working on that one.)
The wonderful part is that my Heavenly Father is keeping track of my milestones. He will be able to show me my scrapbook with moments of accomplishments. That is, if I keep doing the hard work that it is to learn something new. He will keep pushing me to learn the new thing. Not to give up on myself when I just feel like I will always be impatient or selfish. He will continue to put me in situations to help me learn. And until I get it, he will keep wiping my tears, and telling me I can do it!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Status Updates
So, I have a facebook friend that really is an encouragement to me in my walk with Christ. Honestly, he is someone I hardly know. Before you all start thinking I am having an inappropriate relationship, I assure you I am not. I haven't communicated with him since college, and even then we maybe had a few classes together, have barely said more than hello to each other, ever. Basically what I am saying, is all I really know about this guy is what comes through on my news feed.
This friend, exemplifies a life surrendered to Christ in status updates. He doesn't preach, he doesn't quote scripture, he simply gives snippets of his life. I can see that he loves God and makes time for him and is obedient to him. I can see that he loves his wife, honors and respects her and makes time for her. I can see that he loves his kids, plays with them, encourages them and shares his life with them. I can see that he serves others in his church. I can see that he has joy in the journey.
I was encouraged by the fact that I could see Christ's love in someone I don't know. Perhaps the way I live my life, might be an example to someone else? This question compels me to keep putting myself out there. To keep trying to represent Christ at church, in the grocery store with three kids, or even on facebook.
Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
This friend, exemplifies a life surrendered to Christ in status updates. He doesn't preach, he doesn't quote scripture, he simply gives snippets of his life. I can see that he loves God and makes time for him and is obedient to him. I can see that he loves his wife, honors and respects her and makes time for her. I can see that he loves his kids, plays with them, encourages them and shares his life with them. I can see that he serves others in his church. I can see that he has joy in the journey.
I was encouraged by the fact that I could see Christ's love in someone I don't know. Perhaps the way I live my life, might be an example to someone else? This question compels me to keep putting myself out there. To keep trying to represent Christ at church, in the grocery store with three kids, or even on facebook.
Matthew 5:16 "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Friends
A few years ago, I was a new mom, whom had just moved to a new town, and my mom and sister were really my only friends in town. While they are both great friends, they had their own lives, friends, churches, and jobs. So, I had one delightfully easy baby, and a lot of lonely time.
So, I started praying for girlfriends. I would prayed specifically for my neighborhood, since that seemed like an all too convenient place to have friends. I would go for walks and pray for the houses as I passed by.
Speed warp 6 years with me. I have friends! Not just people that I will hang out with, or that are okay. I have women in my life who inspired and challenge me. People who make me laugh. People who I am proud to be with, cry with, play with, share life with. My Bible study for example is this collective group of women who are funny, and smart, and lovely, and generous, and introspective, and honest and loyal, and compassionate, and blunt, and altogether beautiful. They all love Jesus and are striving to be more like him everyday.
I often say that the other stay-at -home moms in my life are my co-workers. (And my husband always reminds me that I get to pick my co-workers, and most people don’t. ) So yes, I am spoiled because I pick the people I have in my life, but I am here to say how blessed and thankful I am for them.
I know it sounds cliché to say that women were meant to be in relationship, but I guess for this women, I really was. So when I have goodness surrounding me like this, I can take the challenges of the rough days.
Thanks ladies, who are in my life. I am so so thankful for you. I don’t think I could do it without you. And thanks for my Savior, who saw my loneliness and put me here, with all these friends, and a reminder that he really does here my prayers.
My daughter has been a little lonely lately. So, we have switched our prayers to friends for her. In fact, the house across the street is for sale and I am praying for a sweet little girl. But the best part is, I can show Ellie how He answered my prayers, and I know he will do the same for her.
So, I started praying for girlfriends. I would prayed specifically for my neighborhood, since that seemed like an all too convenient place to have friends. I would go for walks and pray for the houses as I passed by.
Speed warp 6 years with me. I have friends! Not just people that I will hang out with, or that are okay. I have women in my life who inspired and challenge me. People who make me laugh. People who I am proud to be with, cry with, play with, share life with. My Bible study for example is this collective group of women who are funny, and smart, and lovely, and generous, and introspective, and honest and loyal, and compassionate, and blunt, and altogether beautiful. They all love Jesus and are striving to be more like him everyday.
I often say that the other stay-at -home moms in my life are my co-workers. (And my husband always reminds me that I get to pick my co-workers, and most people don’t. ) So yes, I am spoiled because I pick the people I have in my life, but I am here to say how blessed and thankful I am for them.
I know it sounds cliché to say that women were meant to be in relationship, but I guess for this women, I really was. So when I have goodness surrounding me like this, I can take the challenges of the rough days.
Thanks ladies, who are in my life. I am so so thankful for you. I don’t think I could do it without you. And thanks for my Savior, who saw my loneliness and put me here, with all these friends, and a reminder that he really does here my prayers.
My daughter has been a little lonely lately. So, we have switched our prayers to friends for her. In fact, the house across the street is for sale and I am praying for a sweet little girl. But the best part is, I can show Ellie how He answered my prayers, and I know he will do the same for her.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Dating God
Today, in Bible Study we were talking about being God reveling himself to us, and why doesn't he just make himself easier for us to understand. Why are there stories in the old testament and frankly in our own lives that seem to us unjust and maybe even unkind? Why can't we get the answers and the full story while we are yet in the pain of a struggle.
Jill remarked "in truth, our heads would explode if God tried to reveal all that he is to us". That would be messy. We ultimately decided that through every experience in life, at least when we are looking for him, we get a little closer to knowing the heart of God. It makes me think of dating your spouse. When you dating, you go out with a person, or spend time with them, and learn a little something new each time. At some point, you decide that you are in to stay. That the good that you discover in this process, outweighs the bad. With God, we keep getting to unwrap layers of who he is and his heart, and each layer is good.
I would say, I am an optimist. Not always, but most of the time, I am looking for the good in a situation. This is a trait that I inherited from my dad and am regularly thankful for. 7 years ago, I was pregnant with my first baby, and the ultrasound showed that my baby would die. As heart wrenching as this time was for me, I found joy in the situation. I knew that God was at work in me and he would use this in my life. I honestly was not bitter or angry. James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
Lest I seem proud of this, I will confess to you that Satan used the months after, while I was trying to get pregnant, to tempt me into anger, entitlement and jealousy. I of course later saw the silliness of my impatience during those months of waiting for a baby. Yet, my story has a happy ending. I now have three happy, healthy children. So, it is easy for me to see what God was up to in this situation.
However, there are many people who don't get to wrap their faith stories up into neat little packages with a perfect bow on top. I have dear people in my life who are living with painful situations, with no end in sight. No solution. No resolution. No bow on top. This is where the stuff of real faith is made.
I want to face the trails of life, and the comforts of life ,with pure joy. I want to exhibit joy in the journey of knowing God. I have decided that I am going to love the dating process with him. As I enjoy each experience, and peel back another layer of his goodness, I am going to smile about the fact that God has written me into His story and I get to be a part of His world.
Jill remarked "in truth, our heads would explode if God tried to reveal all that he is to us". That would be messy. We ultimately decided that through every experience in life, at least when we are looking for him, we get a little closer to knowing the heart of God. It makes me think of dating your spouse. When you dating, you go out with a person, or spend time with them, and learn a little something new each time. At some point, you decide that you are in to stay. That the good that you discover in this process, outweighs the bad. With God, we keep getting to unwrap layers of who he is and his heart, and each layer is good.
I would say, I am an optimist. Not always, but most of the time, I am looking for the good in a situation. This is a trait that I inherited from my dad and am regularly thankful for. 7 years ago, I was pregnant with my first baby, and the ultrasound showed that my baby would die. As heart wrenching as this time was for me, I found joy in the situation. I knew that God was at work in me and he would use this in my life. I honestly was not bitter or angry. James 1:2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
Lest I seem proud of this, I will confess to you that Satan used the months after, while I was trying to get pregnant, to tempt me into anger, entitlement and jealousy. I of course later saw the silliness of my impatience during those months of waiting for a baby. Yet, my story has a happy ending. I now have three happy, healthy children. So, it is easy for me to see what God was up to in this situation.
However, there are many people who don't get to wrap their faith stories up into neat little packages with a perfect bow on top. I have dear people in my life who are living with painful situations, with no end in sight. No solution. No resolution. No bow on top. This is where the stuff of real faith is made.
I want to face the trails of life, and the comforts of life ,with pure joy. I want to exhibit joy in the journey of knowing God. I have decided that I am going to love the dating process with him. As I enjoy each experience, and peel back another layer of his goodness, I am going to smile about the fact that God has written me into His story and I get to be a part of His world.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
After School
My mom gave me the most amazing gift. Everyday after school she was there when we got home. And, not just there, she would clear her schedule everyday at that time. And she would sit and chat with us. I have two sisters so that means that my mom set aside an hour every day for 24 years. I am sure she missed some here or there. Or there were times we had musical practice or piano lessons, but you get the point. She was there. She fed us cookies and listened to our heartbreaks and victories. By the time we got to high school, the other moms would call mine, to find out "what is going on". She knew, because she was there to listen.
So, today was a snow day. And I bundled my three children up and braved the roads to head to my moms. I miss these after school talks, as I am many years removed from them, so now I do them in bulk. I come for the whole day, and plop on her couch and share with my mom. Now instead of talking about the boys I like, or my crazy homework load, I talk about my friends, and my kids, and my husband, and my biblestudy. If those walls could talk...
My mom has started a blog, and I must admit it is much better than mine. But we were talking about the advantages of blogging. Of the accountablity out there and how it makes you want to live a life worth writing about. I was telling her about how when I write, I find insights in there, I didn't know I had. For me, it is about being reflective. About taking some time to be silent and hearing what I am thinking, or better yet, what the holy spirit is teaching.
My Bible study this week was the same idea. I am reading Crave by Chris Tomlinson and he was talking about ways to quiet your life, so that there isn't so much noise, and you can actually communicate with God. I am currently sitting in a silent house, I can hear the heater, a ticking clock and my fingers on these keys. It is such a difference than I am used to.
I haven't written in a while, which only proves I haven't been reflective. I need slow days with my mom. I need slow days with my Savior. I need to set aside my to-do list, and sit with my kids. I am so glad that God keeps after me. I am so glad he gave me a mom who modeled the kind of relationship He wants to have with me. I am also so glad that he throws a snow day in, every once in a while, so that I don't miss the important stuff.
So, today was a snow day. And I bundled my three children up and braved the roads to head to my moms. I miss these after school talks, as I am many years removed from them, so now I do them in bulk. I come for the whole day, and plop on her couch and share with my mom. Now instead of talking about the boys I like, or my crazy homework load, I talk about my friends, and my kids, and my husband, and my biblestudy. If those walls could talk...
My mom has started a blog, and I must admit it is much better than mine. But we were talking about the advantages of blogging. Of the accountablity out there and how it makes you want to live a life worth writing about. I was telling her about how when I write, I find insights in there, I didn't know I had. For me, it is about being reflective. About taking some time to be silent and hearing what I am thinking, or better yet, what the holy spirit is teaching.
My Bible study this week was the same idea. I am reading Crave by Chris Tomlinson and he was talking about ways to quiet your life, so that there isn't so much noise, and you can actually communicate with God. I am currently sitting in a silent house, I can hear the heater, a ticking clock and my fingers on these keys. It is such a difference than I am used to.
I haven't written in a while, which only proves I haven't been reflective. I need slow days with my mom. I need slow days with my Savior. I need to set aside my to-do list, and sit with my kids. I am so glad that God keeps after me. I am so glad he gave me a mom who modeled the kind of relationship He wants to have with me. I am also so glad that he throws a snow day in, every once in a while, so that I don't miss the important stuff.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Wall of Blessings
This holiday season, as the cards started coming in, I decided to hang them from a cute ribbon on a door in my kitchen. By the time the holiday's were over, I had three ribbons from the top of the door to the floor, that couldn't bear the weight of the cards that were attached. As I look at the happy faces of friends and family that brightened my kitchen for a month, I am overwhelmed with the blessings that those cards represent. I am so thankful for friends old and new. I am so thankful for my family, just the five of us, and the entire extension. We are so rich.
As the holiday season comes to an end, I am eager to keep close to mind, the relationships that bless my life. My family is so loving an supportive. Sometimes people get hurt, sometimes life is hard, but they remain consistent and gracious. According to God's design. I also can't help but be thankful for my friends. I don't have one perfect friend, I have many friends that bless my life in different and wonderful ways. I have friends that challenge me, and ones that I make an effort to challenge. I have friends that I call when I am sad, and some that are just so much fun.
Lately, it seems I have seen and even experienced some hurt feelings by friends and family. I honestly can say, I am thankful for that. It reminds me how important it is to stay humble in all my relationships. I know I certainly make mistakes in my relationships. I do things that hurt, even if I don't mean to. It is also a reminder to me about the importance of my relationship with Christ. I want my relationship with my savior to be source of blessing and joy to him.
Relationship are often about the investment that you make. The more of yourself you put in, the more you get out. This year, I am going to approach my relationships with this truth. It is worth it to take time to go on a date with my Nate, or to stay in and listen, or to do little things for him. It is worth it to go out with friends. It is worth it to read for hours with my kids, or play trains, even though I don't want to. It is worth it to watch a friends kids, or bring a meal. Mostly, it is worth it to spend a significant amount of my time with God. It is worth it to do all of these things, but as I do, I know that those relationships will grow and bring more blessings into my life.
So, as I clean up my house, and put Christmas away, I am going to keep in my heart the joy of friendships and family. I am going to focus on loving Christ with all my heart and giving my heart to him. I am going to put myself into my relationships as I know it will enrich my life as well as hopefully others. I am thankful for my wall of blessing and the reminder those cards were to me, of how important and valuable those relationships are. I am richly blessed.
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